Milkshakes

1-FOR-1 MILKSHAKES TILL 11PM TODAY! Doing y’all a solid here ah #notsponsored please. When I saw Carne’s stories on Monday saying they’re running this promo for their new and improved milkshakes that are “thicker and creamier” (verbatim mind you), I took it as a challenge lol. Cause I pretty much trashed their milkshakes in my previous review (soz guys I know I’m a little brutal). Obviously I went in with only one thought in my head: is it really thicker and creamier, as opposed to the watery diluted shadow of a milkshake I had previously? YES, thank goodness they were. I took a sip right when the milkshake landed in my hands, and it’s deeeefinitely thicker, creamier, and tons better than my previous experience. The flavours are a lot punchier (salted caramel and coffee were my faves, I loved the earthy burnt toffee in the latter), the milkshake smooth and creamy, and I actually went “mmm not bad!” Tbh I’m a huge fan of thickshakes — I like em real thicccc — and if I don’t see a malt option on the menu it’s an immediate 🙅🏻‍♀️ for me; but I’ll give Carne this: if you like the easier to drink more regular not sorethroat-inducing milkshakes, they make a pretty good one. Though I still don’t get the soggy praline topping 🙃

Anyone who knows me really really well know I’m an absolute milkshake fiend. Ok actually I’m a slut for tons of foods, but milkshakes are my kryptonite. I’d go as far as to skip my meals just to down 3 Five Guys milkshakes (extra extra malt please). So seeing Carne’s amazing looking milkshake shots, I was 20/10 down to have em. Verdict: possibly the biggest disappointment of my milkshake consuming career (can I call it one lol). So watery I felt like I was drinking melted ice cream. Plus, a little bird told me that they don’t actually have fixed proportions for their milkshakes. Flavours were rather average, nothing crazy yummy nor memorable. I didn’t enjoy the praline topping cause by the time you get to that, it’s basically a soggy thingy that adds nuts to the drink on the whole. Idk if that’s just a teething issue or if not having an SOP is really their SOP; but this just didn’t sit right with me.

I certainly don’t write about it enough, but I am a huuuuge sucker for milkshakes. Like I would skip 2 meals to down a large malted milkshake (extra malt please) kinda sucker. Before this CB I had what I would consider to be among the best milkshakes in Singapore, at possibly the most unexpected place: Chix Hot Chicken. I expected good, but this was mindblowingly delish. I’d say it comes close to Five Guys if they offer more flavours. This Chix Milo Shake was so smooth, creamy, and thick, it’s practically a thick shake. I did find the milo flavour a little lacking (it’s a very light chocolatey flavour instead of the malty drink), but I was so happy with the texture this didn’t really matter.

It’s sad how hard it is to find a classic soda-fountain kinda rich and thick milkshake 🥺 In all fairness PS Cafe‘s strawberry cheesecake milkshake wasn’t too shabby, lightly yet discernibly scented with sweet strawberries (not at all like the fake syrupy ones), with crumbled digestives speckled throughout. It was a bit too thin for my liking, but it’s easy to slurp and I’m sure not everyone enjoys a super heavy death-by-slurping thickshake like I do. I have to say though, I get the whole eco-friendly vibe they’re going for with their straws; but it ain’t working guys. My straw broke with the first few sips, and then the other side tore through before I was into half the cup 🙃

If you're in need of some serious sugar high to get you through Monday, these outta hit the spot. Apparently the first to introduce "Freakshakes" to the world, Patissez has brought 4 of these insane (OTT as we know them) milkshake creations to our shores. You're looking at the Mint Condition, Muddy Pat, Sneaky Freak, and Pretzella. Absolutely adorbs names aside, these aren't actually too bad! Not as insanely sweet as they look without sacrificing on taste. Being a huge PB fan, Sneaky Freak's definitely got my vote (insanely rich PB!). Nutella and mint fans would like their renditions too, cause the flavours really really shine through.

Made with whole frozen nanas and no added sugars, this Nutella and Banana Milkshake is really more 🍌 than chocolatey, so rejoice 🍌 fans! Milkshake aside, the toppings are defo a straight route to diabetes. They make the whole dessert look really fun and enticing, but I'll suggest holding back on them processed sweets.

Like literally. People walking past the store were stopping at my table, asking me about the drinks, even taking photos of them! I swear I've talked explained so much about these drinks I think I should be paid a mini commission for the advertising 😏

Taste-wise, I found them just ok. Some of the flavours were quite in-your-face, while some were a tad too subtle. Fans of mint would love the Mint Nutella one, that really hits you like a peppermint bomb. Go for the Nutella Banana if you love em 🍌, it's the epitome of a nana shake. Overall the milkshakes were rather icy, so let them sit for abit before drinking! Each milkshake's painstakingly made by the owner, taking 15min to perfect, so do try to finish it all and not waste their efforts!