Japanese

If there is a food glossary on the different forms of “口感” (in-mouth sensations), the “krik krik krik” of the crispy skin here deserves an entry. The meat itself can get taxing if you’re enjoying the whole portion by yourself, but the sesame paste (that you get to grind yourself!) provides sesame brittle-esque support. 3.7/5

This was a hosted meal, courtesy of Orchard Central and Tonkichi.

http://secretlifeoffatbacks.com/2015/09/hirerosu-katsu-set-tonkichi/

Once inside the safe embrace of your mouthly cavern, the seared salmon slices seem to disintegrate into distinct layers – an external fatty and oily layer instantly disengages from the virtually liquid core of supple salmon flesh, which itself almost immediately melts on your tongue in manner of evaporation. Special mention should also be given to the wickedly fresh wasabi (up your nose, it goes) and the roasty sesame bits which make the already exciting proceedings even more glorious. A slightly dry and unevenly marinated rice results in points deducted, but at this stage its status as a flaw is akin to that of a mole on Emma Watson’s scalp. 4.5/5

P.S. #nofilter. It's that gorgeous.

.http://secretlifeoffatbacks.com/2015/09/aburi-salmon-belly-don-dstllry/

If you get four eclairs, the pricing is almost buy-3-get-1-free, so naturally we went for it.

Off the bat, we noted that the choux pastry had a certain airy coarseness to it, like a pre-ORD 2LT. The last eclairs we had were from Karafuru Desserts and in comparison their choux pastry had a gentle, experienced refinement, like a scholarly sign-on MAJ.

http://secretlifeoffatbacks.com/2015/08/eclairs-dulcet-studio/

Essentially a shabu shabu experience sans the heat and steam, with citrus-tinged, super-soft and highly absorbent 1-ply pork sponges which soak up the refreshing combination of sesame and ponzu sauces perfectly. 4/5

This was a hosted meal, courtesy of Orchard Central and Tonkichi.

http://secretlifeoffatbacks.com/2015/08/ton-shabu-set-tonkichi/

The pound cake-esque matcha cake, intensely flavoured cat’s tongue (or long du shah if you’re all posh) and matcha sauce certainly put the matcha in this Matchazuke. However, the yogurt swirl (which admittedly brought out the best in the matcha sauce) was too eager in its desires to prove its authenticity over other froyo competitors, the inclusion of the vanilla pudding – essentially like a hardened, concentrated Madagascan Vanilla ice cream – was confusing and the dango and concentrated red bean cube felt invited solely to Japonify the proceedings, which ultimately felt as Japanese as a performance by a Western singer donning a kimono with backup dancers holding paper fans and cherry blossoms falling from the ceiling. 3.5/5

P.S. The referenced matcha sauce is not pictured as it needed to use the potty.

http://secretlifeoffatbacks.com/2015/08/matchazuke-karafuru-desserts/

The onsen egg provided surprise and amusement and the various tempura elements were lightly battered and suitably pleasurable — if you ignore the bitchy gossip circulating audibly about how the chicken is not as thin and likable as the fish ex-wife and that the tendon certainly traded down — but in manner of a dog marking its territory, the restaurant will set loose a most greasy, choking, sesame oil-esque fragrance which will envelop every inch of your body within five minutes of you being seated, and this will unforgivably mar the experience – not even a trip to the nearby 100AM Fitness First for some judicious and out-of-control spraying of Adidas sports deodorant from armpit to toe will take away the possessive grip of said insistent smell. 3.5/5

http://secretlifeoffatbacks.com/2015/08/special-tendon-ginza-tendon-itsuki/

Like a sultry, sexy graduate from the Teppei Syokudo school of marinated bara chirashi who deftly avoids all the saltiness pitfalls of its contemporaries and keeps things really tight and fresh. Oooh la la. 4.3/5

http://secretlifeoffatbacks.com/2015/07/bara-chirashi-dstllry/

From the urghsome half-cooked egg that straddled the texture between half-boiled egg and cooked egg for Maggi Mee, to the two octopus sashimi slices which were so unmanageable that I felt like that guy in Korean thriller Oldboy having to swallow the gooey live tentacled gorgon…just wow. You know those Marvel vs Capcom or similar arcade games where you can do combo consecutive hits and the number will increase on the top of the screen? Well, here the number kept jumping – pasty uni! questionable freshness! bland, rough rice! – and the blatant scoopage of vanilla ice cream from a most familiar blue, angular tub was the grand knockout. K.O. 2.9/5

http://secretlifeoffatbacks.com/2015/08/kaisendon-deluxe-ken-japanish-restaurant/

The dumplings start off tasting like your usual Konnyaku jelly (our seasonal fruit was mango) but shed their skin and reveal their inner starchy personality mid-mouth, whilst elsewhere the mint syrup plies its sooth trade a tad too gently. 3.7/5

http://secretlifeoffatbacks.com/2015/08/mizu-manjyu-hashida-garo/

An experience in itself – you access the little soybeans by sucking on them pods, which are so immersed in truffle flavour that the normally tasteless soybeans themselves become unescapably tasty by virtue of your mouth becoming an intermediary truffle oiling agent. Somebody should patent this process. 4/5

This was a hosted meal, courtesy of Kanshoku Ramen.

http://secretlifeoffatbacks.com/2015/08/black-truffle-edamame-kanshoku-ramen/

Essentially your standard value-for-money if slightly too salty Teppei Syokudo Kaisendon but with a few fish chunks substituted for scallop. Not entirely sure scallop wears the marinate as well as her fishly brethren – the porcelain beauty is beautiful just as she is with her pure and God-given natural assets, without the need for such slathering of orange gustatory makeup. That being said, I gobbled all scallop slices in five bites, so hey – whatever makes her feel confident. 3.8/5

http://secretlifeoffatbacks.com/2015/07/scallop-mixed-fish-don-teppei-syokudo/

The comforting and light pre-garlic broth tastes almost herbal soup-esque in its robustness of flavour, being rather different from the usual oink-heavy versions you get from standard ramen joints. Upon mixing with the black garlic, the broth develops a deeply fragrant personality without overreaching into vampire murder territory. Elsewhere, the ramen is springy and nicely avoids starch traps, the chashu is lean, soft and sweet and the whole ajitama egg is delightfully molten inside. 4/5

This was a hosted meal, courtesy of Kanshoku Ramen.

http://secretlifeoffatbacks.com/2015/07/black-garlic-ramen-kanshoku-ramen/