The hottest new artisan pizza parlour where they've gotten rave reviews on social media, who are opened by a veteran brunch cafe at Telok Ayer, and have an imposing oven glowing fiery red in one corner. This has all the makings for a great pizza joint, right? Wrong. Dead wrong.

Despite falling for the initial hype, they'd turned out to be my 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟭. My original order of 𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗱 𝗠𝗲 ($30) turned out to hurt my tastebuds with copiously odious whiffs of lamb game. Sure, lamb is a tricky protein but this was an amateur attempt where the meat was still calling out for Mary.

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If you need some alcohol to disinfect your soul after having it trampled on by corporate life, it's a bargain to get their 𝗙𝗮𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗿'𝘀 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 ($50) that comes with 3 exciting wines for a great price.

When you find yourself indulging in exquisite pours such as the warm, tropical, while refreshing @christian.binner 𝗦𝗶 𝗥𝗼𝘀𝗲, you might find yourself going for a second flight.

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Pizzas may be their strong suit but I was smitten by a new find — their 𝗦𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗱𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗞𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗮𝗴𝗲 ($20). These chunky, succulent boys are encased in airy sourdough batter that crackles thunderously and are as addictive as any narcotics when paired with the creamy kimchi mayo.

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While on the other hand, the 𝗖𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘇𝗼 ($23) was rather run-of-the-mill and overall monotonous, as the ratio of chorizo to onions and tomato sauce turned out to be in the favour of the latter 2 which dominated the profile.

Still, the dough was stellar and did salvage it, somewhat. More importantly, the vivid retro vibes and splendid wines quickly helped us forget about the shortcomings.

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I'm not kidding when I say this wallet-friendly 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗮 ($18) has been my favourite since my first visit when the price tag was even more absurd of a steal. Drunken Farmer absolutely nails the dough, undoubtedly the lifeblood of a pizza.

The product was blissfully fluffy in the insides while sporting a satisfying crackle on the crust, perfumed with the most intoxicating smoke. More importantly, the straciatella was a dream — flavourful but still retained that beautiful dairy cleanliness, complementing the basil and red sauce sublimely.

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Alas, my experience did meet a slight dip in enjoyment as I dug into their noodles. Honestly, these noodles that were pretty forgettable but serviceable enough to not dampen the overall mood — not with the euphoria this bowl of soup elicited.

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It was a long wait, but after Mui Siong's legendary 𝗣𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗟𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝗼𝘂𝗽 ($5) hit the table, I could feel my lips quaking in anticipation of those salaciously thicc and pinkish pieces of liver, submerged within a pool of murky broth shimmering tantalisingly under the glow of the noon sun.

I fished out a single slice into my mouth and took a meek bite — what a life-changing bite. The pig organ seemingly dissolved with a satin-like elegance despite its impressive size. But as I chewed on more, it became apparent each bite was still answered by a bouncy recoil even with its gentle melt-in-mouth properties.

A second piece was quickly fished out, then a third, then I was smitten like a crack addict. Taking a break from devouring those morsels of iron-filled richness, I then fiercely slurped down a mouthful of broth and was greeted by a robust and umami-loaded indulgence.

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A stunning plate of pasta, featuring dainty sheets majestically slicked with saffron gold — this glistening 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗶 𝗔𝗶 𝗚𝗮𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗶 𝗘 𝗖𝗮𝗽𝗲𝘀𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲 ($28) is probably one of their most popular items.

Just as the sauce's tantalising saffron-infused hue hints at, this was liquid gold. A truly luxuriating cream sauce injected with the richness of prawns, scallops, and green peppercorn.

One might be wary of how tediously heavy such a combination might turn out, but it was well balanced with just the right amount of creaminess and robust depth to be enjoyable. My chief complaint though, was with the sheets of stracci — unfortunately a tad too soggy but still pretty enjoyable as a whole.

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Whereas the 𝗔𝘆𝗮𝗺 𝗕𝘂𝗮𝗵 𝗞𝗲𝗹𝘂𝗮𝗸 ($8), while enjoyable, didn't quite punch at the same weight class. Behind its multi-faceted show of spice and umami, the flavours didn't really shine through with the potency expected. But the substitution of chap chye for your usual leafy greens was an endearing touch, no doubt.

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Hambaobao are back! Trailblazing hawker burger pioneers who carved out a fusion burger niche for themselves, and drew in ferverous crowds lining up for their buns before their hiatus.

Candidly, I always found their burgers good but not worth the insane wait. However, this 𝗖𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗽𝘆 𝗣𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗕𝗲𝗹𝗹𝘆 ($8) at their new Jalan Besar space? Exceeded all my previous memories. Crazy crackle in the siew yoke that thunderously crumbled under toothy duress, almost like crackers collapsing effortlessly.

Imbued with the feisty kick of hoisin sauce and mustard, each subsequent bite intensified in addictiveness. Simply unadulterated and sultry texture porn — especially when paired with the fluffy, chunky bite of their 𝗛𝗮𝗻𝗱-𝗖𝘂𝘁 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 ($2.50)

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If you're a fan of curry, their 𝗖𝘂𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗥𝗶𝗰𝗲 also arrives doused in a deluge of moreish curry blessed by a pleasant twinge of sweetness — textbook Japanese, really.

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While plain and simple is my preferred style for tonkatsu, I am also partial to their 𝗦𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗣𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗞𝗮𝘁𝘀𝘂 𝗗𝗼𝗻 ($12.80) which introduces velvety egg texture that plays a perfect foil to the pork cutlets.

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